I'm sorry Ann. It must be really hard on both of you. I hope you can get the disease under control and can find a better job for Dh. How much longer before you finish the school?

I like the idea of social worker. They may help you to find different resources.

Thanks Acs; I'll have to look into your suggestions! It helps to have something concrete to focus on. All I know right now is that DH is on short term disability. I'm going to meet DH's psychiatrist for the first time tomorrow. DH has finally agreed to let me go. I'm not sure why he's changed his mind now, but I'm grateful. I've only spoken to his psychiatrist twice on the phone. Each time precluded by a trip to the hospital. The first time I spoke with the psych I understood why DH likes him. DH likes plain speaking (as is his psych), is stingy with his thoughts, and never has to retract what he says. We're very different in this respect. I digress... During my initial conversation with DH's psych I told him that I was worried that I'd come home from school and DH would be dead. The psych told me "That's a very real possibility."

I'm a 1L (first year/second semester). Two more years to go. I'm the only woman with a child in my section. I think I might actually be the oldest. Although there's a gentleman with more gray hairs than me. Sometimes I wonder if I have two heads. I get bewildered looks from my classmates (i.e. I'm not young, single, childless, nor do I come from a wealthy family). It's quite a homogenous group. Different from what my DH and I were used to in the Bay Area. We live in a different state now (DH would say planet).

I wonder now if I was crazy to leave a job that I liked well enough. My immediate coworkers were great! But, I have to admit that I want to use the degree >>snort<< for good instead of evil, and that really appeals to me.

Hi Ann,

I just saw this thread, I was out and about yesterday. I am so sorry for what you are going through. My MIL has bipolar disorder and it is a devastating disease.
I, too, have worried about my children. I read somewhere that the genetic opponent would more of a risk if you had it, more likely to be passed down by the mother. I haven't been able to confirm this as scientifically proven, but I hope it gives you a tiny bit of peace in these tumultuous times.
It must have been truly frightening when DH's psychiatrist confirmed your worse fear. The most important part of this is DH is getting treatment and letting you in on it, that's huge. It doesn't take away the pressure on you though, I know it's so hard and overwhelming.
Take it one day at a time, that' all you can do. I'll bet you are brilliant at figuring out the far-reaching outcomes and potential situations that may happen as a result of your husband's breakdown. But you should try to break it down for yourself. Don't look so far ahead. Take care of yourself too. You have friends here who are going to support you..........

Incog

Thank you Incog. I find comfort and strength in your words.

Much love,
Ann

Back at you, my friend.

Ann,
I too struggle with Bi-Polar in the family. My father is diagnosed Bipolar and my husband cycles pretty much like clockwork every 18-20 months. However, he refuses to get help for it. I can relate to your fears about coming home. When DH is in the depressed stage, I hate to leave him alone for any reason.

I can also relate to your fears for your child. BiPolar is just one of the labels that they keep throwing around to try to explain DS's behaviors.

I can't imagine trying to balance the needs of DH, my son and going to law school! You are amazing None of your posts came across as whining. They are completely understandable posts for support and information. Keep posing and let us know how all of you are doing and if there is anything we can do to help!

The best thing about his board is the supportive nature!

I can relate to that cycle guys.....in relation to MIL, at least it is predictable.....somewhat of a comfort. MIL has been mad as the dickens at us for whatever idea she had been convinced was the most crucial think in the world a month or so again.
Now........the silent treatment.
But, as in years past, I will look forward to her calling 3 to 4 days before Easter, demanding that we spend it with her and act as if she didn't just say the most terrible things to us.
My DH does not have bi-polar, but is left with a mild cycling mood disorder. Who knows if it's genetic or conditioning. I know his childhood was less than perfect as a result of MIL's illness.
"Managing the cycle" get's tiring, doesn't it?

I

OH BTW, as I understand it, there is a commonality between bipolar and high intelligence. Sorry to hear your son is being "misdiagnosed" at school''

I

OHGrandma,
Thank you for the link on Sleep. I have learned to recognize when DH is changing cycles by his sleep patterns. Also, when his sleep schedule changes so does his eating pattern. In fact, I've had a bit of luck in seeing that his sleep pattern is changing and calling him on it. If he is able to get his sleep pattern back to "normal" it seems to lessen the extremes of the cycle.

It was reassuring to read that research is backing up my intuition