I do think that taking the child's desires into consideration is huge. I have checked in with DS a few times on this and he is very clear that he does not want to be homeschooled.

One of his best friends (who is at least MG) who we share a yard with went to K and then his mother decided she wanted to HS. She was concerned that school would stifle his creativity. The mother, who is a friend of mine, says how great HSing is. But my DS gets a different story from his friend who my son says really misses going to school and being with lots of different kids (not just the ones in their very homogenous HS group). They spend so much time together and are quite frank in their conversations that I doubt that the neighbor boy is telling DS a polite lie so my DS doesn't feel bad!

DS has another HG friend who was HS'ed for a year. His sister needed to be HSed for health reasons and P got pulled out of school to keep his sister company. He did a year of advanced work at home (with a marvelous family), but was quite miserable. Again, he missed the hustle and bustle of school. When he came back to school the next year, he was so happy. I'd see him working on work that was years below what he was capable of and I asked him how he liked it and he said it was well worth being a little bored to be back a school again.

I don't mean to suggest that this is the whole story by any means. I do know that neither of these kids wanted to be homeschooled and neither of them seem to have liked it. Certainly, DS does not want to be homeschooled. So I think that listening to what a child wants makes a ton of sense.

Another thing to think about is whether or not your children will have peers in any particular school situation (and of course if they want/need those peers!). We are very fortunate to live in an area that truly does have quite a few MG kids, and even some HG+'s hiding in the corners. My kids are not that different from some of these peers, and really thrive with just one or two of them placed in their class.

Good point about the child's thoughts too there Acs, I know my own three really enjoy school at the moment. I'm the only one feeling "guilty" for not teaching them "more", kwim?

OTOH, my son LOVED the idea of HSing and resisted the possibility of going to the GT private school, even part time. He really loves his HSing, loved the idea of it before we tried it, continues to love it even on the less-than-stellar days (which every educational solution is going to have).

He has many more true peer opportunities in HS than he had in public school. The myth of the quiet child alone with a book is *not at all* what home school is all about. For our part, we are FAR more social now than we were before HSing! And the kids he's with are far more diverse and interesting than the kids he was with at our lily-white, middle-class public school. He's gotten some great opportunities that he'd have missed in that boring public school class he was in.

I say again, I think you have to ask what your definition of "pretty happy" is, and is that enough for your kids? Could your kids get more educational satisfaction (and general, overall life satisfaction) out of another arrangement?

Just to clarify, when I mentioned "peers", I was thinking of a public school where a GT child stands out like a sore thumb, versus a public school where there truly are a group of similar kids, rather than "public vs home" at all. Make sense?

I tried to cover my butt by adding "if they want/need those peers", but apparently I didn't cover it completely, . There I was thinking of the GT child who is happy being a stand alone smartie, and more into the social scene as far as friends go. DD11 for example has friends that cover the full gamut of ability levels! DS though tends to chose more from the above average crowd and might be more lost without other bright kids in his class.

Having never ventured down the homeschooling path, I'll leave it to others to speak of any pros and cons there!

I wasn't picking a fight with you, Dottie. Sorry, if I sounded confrontational, I didn't mean to. You and acs both know that I respect your opinions.

But especially in the wake of acs's comment, I thought I should stress that the whole "have to want to" and "need peers" stuff aren't necessarily a problem with HSing. They can be problems--just as they can be problems at a school that isn't a good fit for a child--but they aren't necessarily problems.

I just want to be sure that HSing isn't coming off as a bad choice for reasons that haven't held true for us. Those two particular reasons haven't held true for us. They do hold true for some people, and it's good to point that out. But then I think it's also good for me to point out that we had the exact opposite experience. DS6 is far happier and more social now that we're HSing. He's tried public school and he's tried HSing and he picks HSing, without any hesitation. (I'm the one who hesitated, until he wore me down, precisely because HSing is TOO social for me! I can't help but note the irony!)

<shrug> I think much of this comes down to the specific kid and the particular school situation. At this point for Jamie, public school is a known quantity and HS is an unknown quantity, but I think that's all the more reason to trust a mother's intuition. If she sees problems coming in school in the future, they probably will. I felt the same way, and I was right. The problems came sooner than I expected, actually. So doing a little research and checking in with the kids about how they feel about the possibility of HSing seems like a prudent course of action, even if Jamie ultimately decides to keep her kids in their current situation.

And after all, no decision is irreversable. It pays to keep that in mind. As I always say, for me, HSing isn't theory; it's about practice, real life, reality! I'm not wedded to a philosophy, I'm trying to make life work for DS6. If school works better for him at a given point, then that's where he'll go. For now, HSing is a lot better solution for him. Will it be better for DS3? Who knows? I may well have one at home and one in public school. Wait and see...

<double shrug> It's all a grand experiment, and we should probably all expect to change something for our HG+ kids in 6 months or so, no?

I think this is precisely the point I wanted to make in my first post. It would fall on me to meet his social needs way more if we homeschooled. I watch my neighbors who HS and their car is gone most of the time or other people are over at their house. Frankly, as an introvert it looks like heck to me. In fact, if we homeschooled I would probably have to limit his interactions a lot to preserve my own sanity.

As it is, I put him on the bus as 7:15am and we pick him up at 5:00 after tennis practice and he IS happy and full of all kinds of stories and anecdotes about the day. If I had to HS because PS wasn't working, then I would bite the bullet and homeschool. But mercifully we haven't had to face that.

I just wanted to make sure my own post was clear Kriston, as in rereading it, I thought maybe you thought I was bringing up that whole socialization issue, which was not at all what I was trying to say!!!

I thought, you thought, that I thought maybe she thought...(just kidding!)

Seriously, I'm glad we have so many options, even if wading through them and actually choosing one is at the end of those options. And as you said, change could very well be in all our futures! I think it's great that we have so many bases covered as a group effort here on these boards, so we can collectively help everyone find their own personal best solution.

I agree (and suspect everyone else does as well). Our strength is that we have so many different experiences to share. I think we want to make sure that all the stories get told loud and clear. Sometimes I fear it sounds like we are arguing, but I respect all the decisions that folks here have made, and never intend to discount another's experience. I only mean to tell my own.

Agreed, acs. That was my point, too, exactly. Well put.

Ya' know, I think we're all trying so hard to make it clear that we respect one another that we make it sound like an argument! LOL!

Oh, and I agree 100% with you, acs, that an introverted parent--that is, one who feels worn out by social interactions and needs alone time to recharge--should think long and hard about HSing without a good, dependable child care solution! That's so right!

With child care, I am a pleasant, easy person to get along with (if I do say so myself... ). Without sufficient child care, I border on insanity and become very unpleasant to be with. As the child gets old enough for independent playdates, the problem gets less pronounced. But in early elementary, it's a serious consideration that I didn't take nearly seriously enough this year!

Know thyself, and be sure your needs are met, all ye introverts considering HSing!

Now now, I wasn't arguing per se, but rather....

JUST KIDDING!!!!!

Seriously, I can feel the love!!!