And has somebody who has been to both kinds of colleges, based on my experience (I know there are exceptions), I would say, "You get what you pay for." Those small colleges are darn good. I was not so impressed with my highly ranked state school experience.

No doubt this applies in some cases, but I got the impression that this particular student did *more* work, not less.

I'm of so many minds on this one.

One thing that struck me at the blog of the G&T teacher, was a mom wrote in after telling her DD that school is preparation for life where you'll have to do boring, mundane stuff all the time. The DD remarked and I"m paraphrasing here "Well if life is as boring as school, I'm going to commit suicide b/c it's just not worth it." The DD meant it. The mom knew changes had to be made.

I think you have to look at degrees. If it's one course DC is bored with, it's a good lesson to learn dealing w/ boredom, playing the game, toeing the line etc. If most of all the classes are this way, then something needs to change. The boy in the letter took outside courses to learn, from those courses he learned how to study, etc...if DC is content to do all the boring, easy work just to make A's and never learns to study, persevere when things get hard, that will not serve them in college either where most will encounter some need to study.

Also, I think it is hard to know what is going on in someone else's mind. I battle nightly w/ DS over homework. This is easy stuff he could have easily done a year or more ago. Why can't he do it? He says "when it's too easy, I just can't focus on it." So i'm yelling, he's crying, 2hrs later he is finishing a worksheet that it takes the rest of the kids 10min to do. On occasion he has not done the homework and I let him reap the consequences but there are none from the teacher. So perhaps he does have trouble focusing on it rather than being disobedient, bucking the rules, etc. I don't know.

I do model all the boring tasks that i have to do and what the consequences are for not doing them. But I think for elementary aged kids, it's hard to say that what they are doing now, bad habits they are forming, will affect them as adults. My DH told DS "Just wait until Highschool, you'll be able to take AP classes." DS said "Highschool is so far away." And he's right...for a 2nd grader, high school is far away. But I know my boring tasks are for the good of the household/family. I'm not sure what the higher good is of doing work DC has already mastered.

Can you tell I struggle with this topic constantly...ying yanging between extremes? And then settling in the middle?

Dazed and confused (aka Dazey)

I'm glad the topic was posted again-- did you see the update? Because of the article, he got offered a free ride somewhere. I'm really concerned about the aspect of kids not doing the homework. Dazey, I had that too, the wasted hours with the horrible worksheets that could take five seconds to do.
So I tried something new. I sat down with her and told her to write down the first answer, and the second. She looked at me in shock and we finished the rest of the worksheet in a minute. I said, "see how fast that was? Let's whip through all of these and then play a game."
Now, whenever she sees something mind-numbing, she generally tries to do it as fast as she can. Through many conversations with her about it, I've tried to have her focus on speed, so it's like a little game.
With certain assignments she likes doing, such as making a graph or math, she never has problems--and takes her time-- it always seems to be the mind-numbingly useless stuff that makes her sit there for hours.
I am hoping this will make her turn in her homework in the future!

Calizephyr - yes I used that strategy also and it worked for a time. I also used a timer to illustrate to him that it didn't take as long as he imagined it would. I'd have him estimate how long he thought it would take - he'd usually say an hour, then I'd start the timer and he'd get to work, only to find it took 10min instead. That too worked for a time. The school has requested I give him external rewards, which I don't use very often, for doing homework. I'm trying that and it is working ok for now.

My son and I have talked about this a few times. He says he thinks having to do busy work in school does not prepare kids for real life like some people think because it is not like the real world. He said with most jobs there is a chance for promotion and that is an incentive to work hard at the boring stuff. With school there is no incentive when you know that after doing all that busy work you still will not be allowed to "level up" in knowledge.

At my son's old school they rarely allow grade skipping and they don't let gifted kids learn anything beyond grade level material. They also have more busy work for homework so that there isn't as much time for learning what they want to learn outside of school. I think this is sad. This should be their time to learn as much as they can before becoming adults with all those adult responsibilities and so little time. I don't think it is right to squander their precious learning time by forcing kids to do busy work if they have already mastered a concept.

I don't think grades would be an incentive for my son at all because an A in something that was easy for him wouldn't mean much to him. The incentive for him is learning and knowing more than he did the day before.

I remember when my husband told me about problems with his highly gifted older son from his previous marriage not turning in homework and getting bad grades even though he made the highest scores on tests, I didn't have much sympathy for his son, but now that I can see my son has some similar issues, I have changed my mind about some of this. My stepson did not develop a good work ethic in public school. My husband and I knew we had to do something different with our child and homeschooling was really the only choice we had.

After seeing my son work hard at preparing for the spelling bee and working very hard at learning dances for musical theater when this is not easy for him as a child with motor dyspraxia, I know that he is developing a good work ethic. I just don't see how making a kid do lots of busy work when they have already learned the concepts would have a positive effect.

I am hoping that my son will be able to test out of some classes at a community college when he is high school age instead of taking high school level classes in those subjects and doing busy work. I have heard of other homeschoolers doing this and their kids didn't have any trouble transferring to a 4 yr college.

For us, I would say the "incentives" are:

1) setting a good example for 3 younger brothers. If they see oldest getting away with it, why would they comply?

2) for the sake of family finances. If they can get scholarships, an enormous amount of money is at stake (4 kids). This translates directly to hours my H spends outside of home. I want them to understand that goofing off (when it'd be simple and virtually painless not to) makes Dad have to work more, play less, have a lower quality of life.

3) personal satisfaction

I just read through for more of the mother's comments (thanks for pointing these out as I had skipped them by accident the first time). It sounds like the after investigating their options, they have fallen in love with Iowa State and are realizing that it was probably good they Virginia Tech didn't take them as it allowed them to find a school that suits their child better.

I am very happy for them. There really are a ton of great schools with lots of different personalities. I guess instead of trying to force my child to be someone he is not, I would rather spend my time helping him find the place(s) that will allow him to thrive!

I'm with your son, Lori H. Yes, life is not always going to leave you giddy with excitement. But if I worked in a job that made me bored and miserable, unrewarded in any way that meant anything to me, with no hope of advancement or any hope of improving the situation, I'd quit! I hope any adult would! A boring school situation is *NOT* real life.

Even as a stay-at-home mom, I have the hope that my kids will eventually not need diapers (check!), not need me to do all their laundry, not need me to scrub their toilet, etc. But a child in school has only the hope that eventually s/he will age out of that class. And if the only thing to look forward to is another class just like that one...well, it's not hard to see why cooperation becomes hard to come by in some kids.

Personally, I don't think tolerating boredom is really a lesson worth learning in school. Let them learn that lesson at home in the summer, when they are actually able to use that boredom to fuel creative enterprises and teach themselves how to stay entertained without relying on anyone else or on electronics to keep them busy! Learning how to be alone and stay occupied? Now that's a lesson I believe is important.

And BTW, I agree, acs, about finding a place to help a child thrive rather than chasing some perception of "good school"-ness. So right!

YES! My 2nd grader regularly complains that we don't have enough time to do history or TKD b/c school takes up so much of his time. In the evenings, he needs free time to rough house or play LEGOS w/ his younger brother or to play w/ his toddler sister. Even if he's not challenged at school, it still wears him out.