We have so many books. I tend to buy mainly reference books (science, history, math) and save the fiction for the library. However, now that DS is reading longer chapter books, I find getting them from the library is not practical. By the time he decides to pick up the book, it's time to return it. So I've been buying books for him, and putting them on his Christmas list. But even these tend to be more high quality books that I know will pass down to the other 2 kids.

And now that our library fines have increased so much, it's getting cheaper to buy the books especially w/ 4 for 3 and super saving shipping at Amazon. Or at least that is what I keep telling myself..... i don't buy books for myself as I generally only have time to read 1-2 at a time. BUt DS likes to have a selection to choose from each day.

I rely heavily on our library's on-line system to figure out what is due and renew if I can't immediately locate the book. Otherwise our fines would be ridiculous.

We're also swamped in books. Really, we have lots of stuff, though much of it is just waiting to be used on a project. My current mantra (which I was reminded of by one of the mommy bloggers) is: "Use it up, wear it out, make it do or do without." The fact that it rhymes seems to add to its appeal for my family. Though - we have always tended to follow the first three parts anyway.

I made the mistake of telling DH that I read somewhere that a good source for books is your own memory of your favorite childhood books. A case of encyclopedia brown books showed up at the front door step, and now i'm wondering what else will arrive! Where on earth can I put these? I going to have to start boxing things up. At least DS4 likes all the books we get him.

I agree with you that it is possible to have too much stuff, Grinity. Clutter is bad, and too much of even a good thing is just clutter. And I also agree that the child must hear no sometimes and you must mean it when you say it.

My point was just that you're not spoiling a child with stuff as long as you give it freely and without emotional pressure or manipulation, and as long as they love it. You might spoil your house, your storage system, your life! But you're not turning your child into a "gimme monster" because she has that 11th princess dress that you wanted to give her and for which she's grateful. I figure if a young child (say, under 6) says "thank you" without prompting at least half the time, that's a good sign that you've not spoiled your child. (I'm assuming that the other half of the time the child is *so* excited about playing with the toy that s/he forgets all manners! LOL!)

Our system for saying no: we started giving a small allowance and requiring small jobs at around age 2. These are two separate things--not payment for the job, but coexisting tools for teaching responsibility.

We say, "All members of this family have responsibilities. We all must contribute to the running of the household because we all live here. DS3, your responsibilities are to clean up your toys every evening, set the table and throw your clothes down the laundry chute. Because you are older, DS6, you must also fold your clean clothes, feed the cat, and help me keep an eye on your brother." These jobs are non-negotiable, just as DH's and my adult jobs are non-negotiable. We all contribute to making the household a nice place to live.

The allowance teaches fiscal responsibility as well as responsible choice. They have spending money of their own, so I do not entertain any toy requests in the store. I just flat refuse to hear it, saying only, "If you want it, bring your wallet with you and buy it. That's why you have your own money." (Though admittedly, I do still have to say this a lot more often than I would like!)

I do not edit their choices about what they do with ths money. The whole point is for them to have the chance to make mistakes with it. Better that they learn consumer skills when they spend $5 on a crummy toy that falls apart than that they wait until they've run up a $30,000 credit card bill (as one of our relatives did in college!)

YMMV, but our kids are much more choosy about toys when it's their own money they're spending. They rarely spend, and if they do, they use the heck out of that toy! The older one has already learned to save for a long-term goal and the joy of seeing his savings increase. The younger one is still pretty much Mr. Immediate Gratification, but he's 3. There's plenty of time.

And at least I have an easy "no!" for the "I want it"s at the store!

P.S. I loved Encyclopedia Brown!

I'll have to try the allowance thing again. I tried this when DS was 2 or 3, and he completely understood the concept and said, "i don't want an allowance. I want you to buy the things for me." I think I was so shocked I forgot about the whole thing!

SPG- One of the things that DS likes about his allowance is that he knows that there are some things that I will not buy him--video games are a good example. I simply refuse to buy video games. So if he wants them he has to buy them with his own money. That is why he likes his allowance.

That's a good way to do it, ACS. I think DH and I should sit down and discuss which things we won't buy. thanks.

Oh, man, SPG, that's one shrewd consumer you're raising! He sees the gravy train and won't get off. LOL!

Tell me about it. I guess we've done something terribly wrong as parents! Have to search for those supermom powers...