I love it Kriston, especially the summary of the types of people we will come across. I tried to think of a 4th type, and can't think of anyone personally that didn't fit those three! (Edited to add "Except maybe my mother, who changes the conversation completely, )

We don't get very many comments any more, now that our own personal dust has settled. He's sort of like Harry Potter....but rather than The Boy That Lived, he's The Boy That Skips for Math. Most people don't even know/remember the other skips. In fact, I had a conversation just last week with one of the few persons who was more actively involved in our last year decision making, and she couldn't understand why DS was the youngest on the baseball team, yet in 5th grade. She assumed he was older. Um...remember??? The skip?? It was reassuring in some odd way how easily she forgot.

The grade skipping has never been an issue for us either, Dottie. Neither of my boys ever talk about it at school so very few parents know. At their current school they are not the only skipped children so it's more commonplace, but even before it never seemed to come up. Of course it helps that they are both large for their age so they blend very nicely (DS8 is almost 5 feet and 90 pounds!) The few times I've been questioned I've always answered that they just do very well academically so they've gone through a little quicker than normal. I think a lot of it has to do with how confident you sound when you say it. People can always detect "wishy-washyness". If I was homeschooling, I would just say that it was the best thing for my child right now, and then let it go. It's not really their business anyway.

LOL about your mom, Dottie! They are a category all to themselves, aren't they?

One other thought that I got too distracted to include: The phrase "Fake it until you make it" applies, I think.

If you act as if you are insecure and unsure about your choices, people view you as open to attack. It's human nature. OTOH, if you seem confident, sure of your decisions and unshakable, people generally assume you pretty much know what you're talking about. This is especially true if you are clearly not evangelizing but are merely answering questions put to you.

So even if you aren't 100% confident, act like you are in public. The responses you get will generally be more positive, at least in my experience. The one and only really negative reaction I got to homeschooling came right after we had decided to pull DS6 out of public school. I felt raw and scared and utterly freaked out, and I know it showed. A casual friend--a former teacher--jumped all over me, and I reacted badly. She was wrong and insensitive to me when I was in a scary, bad place, but I could have handled her rottenness better. Live and learn...

I think we argue when we fear we're wrong; we shrug off negative comments when we know we're right. So shrug and people will assume you're doing the right thing. It's weird, but it seems to work!

Thanks, Kriston!

I really like your "every kid is different" response. I have also been saying that, "We were concerned that DS was getting in the habit of tuning out in class." He is a quiet kid at school and there was not really a behavior issue. At home, he was crabby and begging to go to second grade. How do you think it would go over to say that DS really wanted to move up a grade?

Also, I am not socially astute and I often have a hard time telling whether I am talking to a Nellie, Kitty or Julie until I put my foot in it. Then I am often at a loss for a response. I come across much better online because I can read and reread people's posts and take my time to consider my response. Are there any telltale signs I could look for to identify these types?

Most of the time I get the feeling that people are curious and fishing for gossip...what do you think?

Wow, that is big CFK....he's taller than DS9, who is no slacker in the height department (4'9" at last sounding, but pretty skinny at 70-ish pounds).

Wow, two posts snuck in while I was making my short one!

Kriston, that "fake it" mentality works GREAT for school meetings! Excellent advice again!

Cathy, wouldn't that edit feature be handy in real life?????????

Yes, it's good that DS is taller than average, too. Today is his half-birthday. He's 5 1/2, 46", 45 lbs. According to the growth chart that's about 80th%ile.

Big time

1. I don't think I'd say that your son wanted to move up. Anything you can do to make it a parental decision makes it easier on him, I think. All too often, I think there's a choice between having your kid be "that kid" or your being "that mom." I virtually always pick being "that mom." I can take it; he might not be able to. Take responsibility. The tuning out thing is good, I think. It sounds like a bigger problem than boredom. Good move there!

2. The only one you really have to ID fast is the Negative Nellie. She's either threatened by your choice (ala my former-teacher "friend") or she's the one who wants to judge you and make you feel bad. You don't know her until she reveals how she feels about your decision through some snide comment (like that first one you listed) or through my "friend's" comment, "I don't understand what's wrong with being bored for two years until the GT pull-out kicks in." That's when you realize you've got a Nellie on your hands.

Your best defense is to refuse to accept her judgment. Period. She can only be mean to you if you give her that power over you. A shrug is your best move with her. She thinks you're wrong, but so what? It's not her call. Don't engage at all. Don't take it personally, even when she's clearly making it personal. Being emotionally clueless is a good thing with her! (Said Spock...)

The other two are curious. Maybe it's gossip, maybe it's interest in your child, maybe it's just something for her to chat with you about because it's all she knows about you. It doesn't really matter which, since it all comes down to curiosity.

Even if she is gossip-seeking, she's doing you a favor by giving you a chance to feed the rumor mill with the truth, and the truth with a positive spin, no less! Take the chance! Just don't oversell it. Confidence is your friend.

Someone truly curious will ask follow-up questions. Someone just killing time and asking about the only thing they know about you will be happy to change topics if you go another direction. Try to gauge interest vs. boredom so you don't say more than is strictly necessary.

I'm lousy at this last bit, BTW. I always talk more than I should! I'm working on it...But on the bright side, I've gotten really good at spotting the Negative Nellies and sidestepping them. And personally, I think that's the one that really counts!

Ok. I don't mind being "that mom". Actually, I already am What about, "His teachers and the principal agreed that first grade is a better placement for him." Maybe I can pass the buck to them...

And thank you, Spock, for your advice about Nellies. The particular Nellie who said that to me didn't really upset me much, but I was surprised and at a loss for words. Her DD seems GT to me and we used to talk about Kindergarten stuff before DS was skipped. Now I feel like I am walking on eggshells around her...maybe unnecessarily. It's just hard for me to tell. I offered to share some information with her but she didn't seem interested. Right now, we are just avoiding the topic.

Often, when I mention research, people's eyes glaze over. I guess I'm the only person who's interested in that kind of thing...besides you guys of course!

Any pointers on what kinds of things to feed the gossip mill other than DS is happy and doing well in first grade?