I think I'd put yourself in the group. Better to feed the gossip mill info that you're a team player, you know? But with the minor adaptation of "The principal and teachers *and I* all agree that this is a good fit for him" or something like that sounds great to me, FWIW. (Not much! Please don't think I'm some expert at this! I'm SOOOOO not!)

I felt the same shock and loss for words when I ran into my Nellie. I really blame my graceless response on my unpreparedness to meet with such willful ignorance and lack of support from someone who was supposedly my friend. Not my finest hour, to say the least! But it was a good learning opportunity. I figured out that I should never again be left at a loss for words. Forewarned is forearmed and all that...

I wish I had good advice about how to be around your Nellie, but my Nellie vanished from our social group for several months after our run-in--I don't know if it was because of our run-in or not--and then I was absent because I was teaching a class that coincided with our meeting time. So it's been somthing like 8 months and I have yet to be around her since the incident. I'm sure it will be uncomfortable though.

LOL about the research making eyes glaze over! I must admit, I never go there with anyone, no matter how sincere the interest appears. If they were interested at all, they'd probably be able to cite the research to me! Ha!



Nope. That sounds just right to me! Maybe that the school approves of the skip and that you're playing team, but that's about it. Happy and not a social outcast is pretty good material, I'd say!

It's been a long time since I had to break the news to someone we know, but when meeting new people, I just say that we homeschool and leave it at that. I smile and allow them the chance to make a comment or ask a question, and if they do not, I let it go. I figure if they want to know why, they'll ask. Very few do. This past w/e, for instance, my sister's SIL (who I see once every several years) asked me what grade my son is in. I replied that he would be in either 5th or 6th depending on the state, but that he was homeschooled. She said NOTHING at all, which I took as a hint that she had some preconceived notions and was uncomfortable with the subject. I chose not to pursue it, though I would have been happy to discuss it with her had she been inquisitive.

I think some people's discomfort may relate to guilt over not doing more advocating/homeschooling/etc for their own child.

Even my mom has run into Nellies! She told me that just the other day she was talking to my uncle on the phone. He asked how the kids were doing, she said fine, he asked if they were enjoying school, she said yes. He asked what grade they are in now, she said DS is in 1st, DD in 3rd, he said, "Wait a minute! I thought DS was 5?" She said he is, but that he had been moved to first. He said, "I don't really think that's a good idea!" She didn't really know what to say to that, either. I think I will tell her to say something like, "Well, it seems to be working well for DS."

The only backside to "the principal and his teacher feel this is best", is that if you have a parent whose child also needs a skip, you might have increased HER "imposter syndrome" when she says to herself "they never said that about my child". The very rare parent of that very rare child needs to know about the likely battle tactics! (Those parents are generally truly seeking information, and stick out a little bit better.)

Good point. If you think she's "one of us," you obviously want to support and encourage. Maybe that's the elusive 4th category? Wondering (if her child is GT) Wandas?

Imposter syndrome!!! I've been thinking the very same thing "Well no one ever said that about my child."

How about: "We (parents, principal, teacher), as a team, decided that he would learn best this way".

Unfortunately, there will always be Nellies that will have negative stereotypes about any non-traditional approach to education no matter what you say. But at least we have this board for validation-- we all need a dose now and then...

Just Adding my 2 Cents Jool

Okay, maybe we're stretching the truth a wee little bit...

But if the child is *allowed* to grade-skip, then the principal and teachers approve, right? At least implicitly?

Remember, we're spinning positive and playing team here! Positive PR and all that...

There's a fine line for me between....

1. My kid definitely deserves/needs the skips and radical acceleration

and

2. I had to fight like heck to get it all for him

I typically just change the subject, ROFL!!!! (Eeek, like mother like daughter!)

Ah yes, positive spinning....despite the early fight, I can honestly say that DS's 5th grade teachers have told me that we absolutely did the right thing!!!!