DS9, grade 3, at a local "A" grade elem school. Today, I participated in his IEP meeting for his occupational therapy for fine motor skills, motor planning, etc.

As background, he got a letter home this spring that he was not meeting grade level standards for punctuation, spelling, and capitalization in his writing. Even though he has horrible handwriting, and struggles over every word, they had basically done nothing other than have him write to determine whether he knew caps/punc/spelling. Couldn't they think of another method for assessing him on this knowledge without making him handwrite? Couldn't they think of another way of teaching this skill other than the Teacher's College writer's workshop model?
I'm thinking of all of those old multiple choice drills in the grammar textbooks of my youth.

Based on advice from here, it seems appropriate to ask the school to include teaching keyboarding in his IEP and to provide alternative methods of teaching and testing punc/cap/spelling. (He actually spells very well on plain old spelling tests, where he just has to write one word at a time.) So, I asked for it at the meeting. The school psychologist said "this is the OT IEP, and we can't include that here." and "That sort of thing with the classroom teacher never goes in the IEP." and "You need to request an evaluation for assistive technology and you can do that next year." and "Why don't you try teaching this at home?"

When I got emotional about it (I cried, unfortunately, when I got to the point of discussing the effect of horrible handwriting in those 4th grade state exams, whose scores are used for middle school entrance requirements, so I just seemed hysterical about middle school admissions) , the school psychologist said that perhaps I should stop trying to "perfect my child" and just let him be. I said, I'm not trying to insist on perfection from my child, I'm trying to help him. I am insisting that you do a better job. That's my role as a parent, to ask for everything my child needs, and to demand and be insistent. I\'m not asking more of HIM, I'm asking more of YOU. He is struggling with this one aspect of school, to the point he is not meeting grade level standards and he needs help. Merely talking about what he needs will not be enough to keep the classroom teacher on track next year and without accountability, none of this will happen. If nothing is set in stone, then all plans about accommodation will just fall by the wayside when the teacher is confronting a huge class of students. My tone of voice was mmm adamant, let's say. And I really said all of the above. It may have been perceived as a rant.

The psych also asked questions like "What do you want him to be?" that I think were totally an effort to sidetrack me and make it appear as though I was unhappy with him and feeling the need to mould him in some way. My answer "Happy with who he is and what he is doing!"

The participants at today's IEP all assured me that DS was going to do just great, because he wouldn't need good handwriting to take the NYC specialized high schools entrance exam! (What about developing a capacity to express his thoughts on paper? That seems important, too?)

As an added bonus, before this year's teacher left the IEP conference (before the fireworks), he said that DS has some strengths and weaknesses. He is an advanced reader and above-level in math, but.... has only a superficial level of understanding of "these physics text books he's picked up." It was a college text book that DS was taking to and from school to learn how nuclear reactors work, what the theory of relativity was about, etc. I think he gleaned a lot from it, but certainly not enough to pass that Physics 101 exam. His teacher was so right! And so totally irrelevant to whether or not he needs additional OT services or keyboarding.

(He got an adjustment in OT, but no keyboarding and no info on IEP on classroom accommodations or strategies. Is it really true this can't go on an IEP, or can't go on an OT IEP?

I think the teacher's comment is just setting the ground for the next meeting with the same set of people, plus the principal, when we consider a grade skip for math. I can see it now: "He's bright enough, but he has only a surface-level understanding of that college physics text."

I've tried to be rational and cool, and crying just did not help DS's case.

On the bright side, his OT is fabulous and really gets him, his frustration with his inability to express himself in writing, his perfectionism, etc. She was great at the meeting, but just looked around awkwardly when I cried. She deferred to the school psych's judgment that keyboarding/in-class modifications didn't go on the IEP.

Everyone at the meeting was different from the first. The school has a new psych, new OT, new special ed teacher.

I already had an idea that the new psych was not very truthful. Another mom told me that her son at the school, with significant reading delays, was evaluated at the mom's request. At the IEP meeting for her son, they determined no services were necessary, no learning disability was found, and told her that the Dept of Ed had a policy of not disclosing achievement test and IQ scores to parents because it was counterproductive! This is NOT true. I got all of DS's test scores last year, and if you test for G&T this year, you are sent your child's results. She also asked what steps she should take if she andher dh decided they weren't happy with this decision. Not a single person on the IEP team could tell her what her next steps were. (Yeah, right, I'm sure they have NOOO idea!)

I mean to vent, and instead I'm asking questions and just generally rambling.

Anyway, can you give me reassurance that I didn't come across as psycho crying mom? Or if I did, how to overcome or take full advantage of my new rep?

bk

You need a psych to counter their psych. Your psych needs to recommend the accommodations/modifications your DS needs. I believe they have to consider outside evaluations. And you are definitely right about parents being able to receive scores, that is what FERPA is all about.

Don't beat yourself up about crying. I don't think it made any difference. If anything, it shows that you are a conscientious mom who cares about her son. <<hugs>> I've done the same thing, and we still got things worked out with the school.

If they pull that "stop trying to perfect him" cr@p again, point out that they are the ones who say he isn't meeting grade level standards! Are they saying that you should just give up on him? You are trying to offer ways to remedy that problem...what are they doing? The same old thing that didn't teach him to punctuate last year?

As for what can be on an IEP, it can pretty much be whatever the child needs--I've never heard of any such restrictions. An IEP doesn't have to be restricted to OT. In fact, it shouldn't be.

Try to ignore the digs about the physics book. Their tactic there is to lower your expectations of him (and by extension, them.)

I know how hard this is! My kids don't have IEPs but we had a heck of a time getting the 504 plans.

I agreed with Cathy’s well considered points! I am curious as to whether they have to consider outside testing. In my daughter’s case, we had two more highly credentialed experts (as compared to the school psych) whose evaluations were in disagreement with the school team. They just ignored it. Three years later, we had a very comprehensive assessment which likewise completely disputed the school’s position. I’d bet that it wouldn’t have been factored either.

I’m so sorry that this meeting went the way it did.

We also had some pretty significant frustrations several years ago when my daughter attended public school. Our school service psychologist and speech therapist, in particular, acted as if the notion that a gifted child could also have a learning disability was contradictory. I couldn’t decide whether they were stupid or unscrupulous. Our daughter’s written evaluation contained many references to our “dissatisfaction” with her performance, which actually didn’t make a bit of sense as she earned over 100% (extra credit) in every subject.

We got the same line from my son’s principle this past year when we elevated an outrageous action taken by a teacher. The principle lived up to a well known reputation for failure to address parents’ concerns by insinuating that we were complaining because we were disappointed in our son (as opposed to his performance). I actually felt physically ill for several weeks due to his inept response.

Between our local public system and our singular Catholic school there were seemingly no other options available. As is often the case with opportunities, they came all at once, and after quite an absence. Just this spring, we received various offers from other schools outside of our immediate township to accommodate our son. We accepted one which will require a huge commitment of my time and gas money while also limiting my part time career opportunities. Other than the distance and accompanying issues, I believe it will be a great fit for ds.

While I was in your shoes over the last five years, a few people assured me that we would find a way eventually. At the time, I believed they were giving me vacuous assurance, but it seems they may have been right.

Keep your head up and stick to your guns. I wish you the best.

Well, they can ignore the outside evaluation but it must be entered into the record if you present it. Then the hearing officer would have to consider it if you go to due process.

If you see yourself headed that way, it may be something to consider.

oh big huge hugs BK1. They are playing with your mind, hoping you'll go away.

I read of some test where it assess punctuation etc by asking DC to fix what's wrong in a sentence. That would seem a much better test for a child w/ writing issues.

BK, I really feel for you. Looks like the school is tryign to change the focus from your son to you- so they won't have anything to do but say, "tsk, tsk you're putting too much pressure on him."

BK - i'm sorry you had to endure that awful meeting. I haven't had to deal with the school system yet (DS is 4), but I am sending you e-hugs. What unreasonable people. Either they are purposely trying to manipulate you or they really just don't get it.

I'm so sorry BK. They sound quite unreasonable. The point that they are the ones saying your DS is behind grade level is a great one.

And I really don't get what they're trying to say that your DS only has superficial understanding of a college level physics book? How many 9 year olds could pick up a college level physics book and figure out anything on their own? I would completely ignore that comment.

Hi bk1 -- sorry about the frustration. Can you talk to the assistive technology person directly? Many kids that i have worked with have benefited enormously from Co-Writer and Write Out Loud. They are most often used for LD kids but could and do benefit certain 2E kids,

And how would they know? Do they have more than a superficial understanding of physics themselves?