Well, I'm sure I shouldn't generalize about what schools want. But our principal said at an awards ceremony, "Mrs. X is the perfect parent! She volunteers wherever we need her and has never asked for anything extra from the school."

I have volunteered out the wazzoo. I am PTA treasurer, school site council chair, math lab coordinator, room parent for two classrooms, and I volunteer in the Kindergarten 3 hrs a week teaching science. My total volunteer hours are about 30 hrs a month. I hate the idea that the reason DS got his grade skip was because I volunteer. School placement decisions should be based on the child's needs not the popularity of his parents.

Oh, and I have yet to win one of those awards...perhaps I asked for too much.

Hi Cathy

I agree, placement should be based upon the student. I used to work in schools a long time ago as a contractor (Low Voltage cable installer). Good teachers , bad teachers, great prinicpals, the whole gambit. But as a trend, trying to work helps, but not always. I have an Elemtary principal in one of my voulunteer groups. She has almost no one for PTA or School site council. I am not trying to defend the schools, there are some very bad ones. But I try not to paint them all with the brush of my experance alone. On test scores our school did not really look at them, a lot of things are what works best for the school. I offered to provide achievment testing, they said it would not help. They have to make there own determinations. I understand this somewhat. Our new school has asked each new parent to give the teacher time to evalute each child before making requests. We have to trust there judgemnt for now. It's all about adjusting, new schools, new teachers, hoefully we pick correctly.

BTW, I'm going to post over in the Region forum, but I'm looking for recommendations on testers in the Philly region. I've gotten one already, but if anyone else has had a positive experience testing, please post or PM me. Thanks.

JB

I'll refer you to the tried-and-true Hoagies' page on the subject:

http://www.hoagiesgifted.org/psychologists.htm#susa

These are testers recommended--often (if not always?) by other Hoagies users--as accustomed to working with GT kids. I recommended a new tester in our area after she did a fabulous job with my DS7.

I'd recommend starting there. Welcome to the start of the long journey...

Cathy A and Kriston I am sorry you both have had such bad experiences with your schools.

JBDad I hope you find a good tester and Edwin I hope your new school works out well.

I do agree that volunteering really works but what if you don't have time? A friend of mine, pulls kids out every week for advanced math work. That would be tough for me w/ an infant and a preKer. I did offer though but the teacher didn't take me up on it. I"ve been in the classroom about 5-6x to do science w/ the entire kids. Now that things are winding down, I'll probably be in the class another 2-3x before the school year ends. I have to take my toddler with me but thankfully she is well-behaved. On the occasion I have to bring my preKer, that's a bit more stressful for me, but I manage. I had two more lesson plans that I had hoped to get into the classroom to do - one on robotics to illustrate how sound waves travel but I just never had the time to get it together in my head, plan an activity for the kids, and find a sitter for the preker. My toddler won't stay with anyone so I have no choice but to bring her along. I've also been to the all the parties (we at most have 3-4 parents attending out of class of 20kids). I have a good relationship with the teacher b/c of it. For ex: I was the only one informed when testing for the gifted program took place. All the other parents were never informed. But what if you're a working parent? SHould you be penalized for not being able to be in the classroom?

I know I should have done more in the class but I was really thrown for a loop w/ kid #3 and my DH works 70-80hrs/week so it's all on me.

I've read over and over that if you want extra for your kid, you need to show the school that you're willing give to ALL the kids - for right or wrong.

Since we're talking about volunteering, I'll put in a plug for my favorite volunteer job, which is helping out in the library. It's a rare school library that doesn't need help! I've found it's generally flexible in timing and duration. Even a few minutes shelving books or shelf-reading after drop-off or before pick-up can help. I've brought my younger child when I had to, from the time he was a toddler through now (at almost 6). He's more help now but it's always been possible.

There are other jobs that you may not even have to be at the school to do - such as putting together a school newsletter or writing grants. People, other parents as well as school staff, appreciate it when someone does these things.

And, what if, no matter how many times you offer or how hard you try, the teacher rebuffs all attempts to volunteer in the classroom? Case in point: Pud's teacher said "I don't spend as much time with his reading group as I do the others because he doesn't need it as much". Okay, said I, let me come into the classroom and read to the other kids or listen to them read while you work with my child. Nope, no way, completely out of her vision of the world.

Here's another thought: I wish that I had thought to volunteer in the next grade up toward the end of the school year to get to know those teachers.

The other issue is that at the elementary school, the Principal instituted a rule that NO SIBLINGs on school grounds. She said it ruins it for the siblings to be at the school. The PTA got an exception b/c they'd lose most of the PTA if everyone always had to get sitters for younger children. And many of the teachers have a NO parents in the classroom at any time rule except for PTA conference. Fortunately, DS always had a teacher that let parents come in for parties but that is your only exposure to the class.

My DS got no reading instruction for most of the 2nd grade year, this year. He said his group did only independent reading and then wrote in their reading journal. Well, uh, unless someone is looking over his shoulder, he's not going to write much in a writing journal about a book he may not have had any interest. I really, really wish I would have had the time this year to offer to come in a read w/ the kids and discuss books with them each week but w/a baby, it just wasn't happening. Maybe next year I'll be able to spend more time in the classroom. But at this school, a friend said after 2nd grade, they really cut the cord and parents really aren't wanted in the classroom at any time.

Yes kcab, one year I put together the 3'x4' portfolios for the kids to take home their art work from the year in. Most did it at school (especially to get that exposure) but w/ a young toddler at the time, I came in, picked up supplies and brought it home to do. The next year I was on complete bedrest so I physically couldn't do all the stapling and manipulating of such large sheets of paper so I couldn't do that. I did however put together all 700 invitations (gluing papers together) for the art show. The art teacher had previously been doing all this work herself year after year but after her DH said he would no longer help her, she had to enlist parents lol.