At age 7 my son used to flap his hands when he was excited, which was often, and because of this and the fact that the words he used in his speech sounded more like an adult than a little kid, some people thought he has Asperger's--even my sister, who thought the developmental pediatrician had to be wrong when she told us he didn't have it. He was also very expressive and animated when he talked.

My son doesn't have Asperger's because he doesn't have any deficit in social skills, has more friends than I ever had, can read body language to the point that it sometimes seems he can read my mind, loves to use figurative language and enjoys books with a lot of figurative language, has no trouble looking anyone in the eye and his friends describe him as smart and funny. He sometimes likes to use different voices for different characters when he reads or makes up jokes. I think all of his friends in his musical theater class do this too. I think all the kids in his class, ages 4 - 19, are all very smart and kind of quirky and so much fun. My son is just a little quirkier than the others.

One of his friends even asked me why he is similar in some ways to another kid he knows who does have Asperger's. I think one of the main reasons my son seems similar to someone with Asperger's is because he has sensory integration dysfunction which he says causes him to feel like he has excess energy in his hands that he has to get rid of. He doesn't do it as much now, only when he is extremely nervous, like outside the room where the spelling bee was held. He didn't do it on stage because now that he is 10 he knows that it looks a little strange and he cares a little more about how he looks to other people than he used to. At seven he didn't care that much what people thought about him.

I found that he was worse with the flapping whenever he ate or drank something containing Red Dye #40 so I tried to keep him away from that whenever we were in public.

Before I found out that he had sensory integration issues, I didn't know what to tell people about his quirky hand flapping other than the "overexcitabilities" I had read about.

There is a saying that if you meet a person with autism (or Asperger's) then... you've met a person with autism. Some kids with asperger's are very expressive, some have no problems with eye contact. I personally feel that kids with asperger's can be empathetic, it's just different than the average person. The social skills issue is a huge one.

Here's DSM criteria for Asperger's: http://ani.autistics.org/dsm4-aspergers.html

Lori, I'm a bit confused by your post. Are you saying that every kid with AS has no sense of humor, never makes eye contact, and is not smart?

I have known you online for years, (first at parents place, I think, and then P and P?) and it seems to me that many times you HAVE described your son as having social problems. I can't diagnose ANYTHING, of course, as I am not qualified, but everything you have shared in the past leads me to believe that your son may be on the spectrum. I have not mentioned this before, as I didn't want to cause offense, but it may be that if your son does have AS, he is still young and malleable enough for treatment to do a lot of good.

My son with AS is also frequently described as smart and funny. He has a dry sense of humor and loves to read Dave Barry and Terry Pratchett. He is a great mimic as well, and often confused other kids when he was young by talking to them with "clips" from various television shows and video games, which the other kids did not have the context to understand. He has the same issues with hypotonia that you have told us that your son has. He can speak in front of a class, but is hard pressed to make small talk with acquaintances. He rarely initiates conversation or thinks to ask someone how they are or what they've been doing.

Remember, autism is a spectrum disorder. No two kids will present exactly alike. Maybe you could keep an open mind about the possibility of your son having AS, and see what a qualified neuropsychologist thinks. There are many far worse things than AS out there.

respectfully,

Julie-

Here's an official on the board welcome to you! I do hope we'll be able to connect in the near future! Are you on the Gifted Issues list of attendees yet?

Oh Greenpalm. I have no expertise on AS or Autism. My DS7 falls into the camp of "doesn't seem quirky enough to be HG+". But he was absolutely adorable on that video! Thanks for sharing and good luck.

No, I did not say that and I do not think that every kid with AS has no sense of humor, never makes eye contact, and is not smart.

My son has met kids with AS online and he felt that he had a lot in common with one of them. The people with AS that we met online all seemed very, very bright.

I am the only one in my family that has trouble making small talk, especially with people I have nothing in common with.

My son is not shy like I was as a child and when I asked my very social former cheerleader daughter to rate her little brother's social skills, she said 10 out of 10. They talk to each other several times a day and enjoy verbal sparring with each other, just like his dad does with his geology professor sister. I am not sure, but I think that might be an example of social reciprocity.

He certainly doesn't lack the spontaneous seeking to share enjoyment, interest or achievements with other people.

He is good at making small talk with the friends who are interested in the things he likes. He doesn't want to talk about football or other sports that he can't play which is what most of his age mates want to talk about.

He doesn't have an encompassing preoccupation with one or more sterotyped and restricted patterns of interest that is abnormal either in intensity or focus. He likes video games, but no more than his friends, he likes history, but no more than one of his friends, he probably likes science a little more than most of his friends and none of his friends are into learning new vocabulary the way he does, some of his friends like trivia, but maybe not as much as he does.

There is no inflexible adherence to specific, nonfunctional routines or rituals.

He did do the repetitive motor mannerisms, but not so much now. I don't remember where, but I know I have seen this listed online somewhere as something that might be caused by sensory integration dysfunction. A child can have sensory integration dysfunction without AS.

I have looked at the criteria before and I still don't think it fits my son because he does have very good friends but they are several years older. He just does not have the required impairments in social interaction. There is only one that might fit--"failure to develop peer relationships appropriate to developmental level" --but when we told the developmental pediatrician that all his friends were gifted but several years older she told us that he had a "higher mental age" and that it was okay to have all older friends. If by "developmental level" they mean physical development then his motor issues, especially visual motor integration would be younger than his chronological age.

I just wanted to thank everyone again for your thoughts on this (and all the warm welcomes!) DH and I have decided that the only rational thing to do is to take him for an evaluation. We are exploring options for finding a good professional. Thanks so much for the support, thoughts and help. It's sticky jungle to navigate!

I'm glad to hear it, and I hope the assessment helps you in this crazy journey.

Greenpalm, you're very welcome.

Lori,

I am sorry if I upset you. But perhaps if others are routinely asking if DS has AS, it may be a good idea to get an evaluation? Then you will have it officially ruled out, and you will know that you have put the effort into it and can dismiss the idea completely. It may be that he has some aspie traits, but not enough for a diagnosis, but the test admins should still be able to help with recommendations and resources.

That's my last comment, and I hope you will realize that my intention is to help. MY DS with AS is struggling in some areas, and I wish that I had done more to help him develop certain skills when I had more influence. They grow up quickly, and then we can't make choices for them.

Just a quick non-scientific anecdote. I've found people and especially children seem to have higher compensating skills the more intelligent they are. Both my own girls have an issue or two that are "borderline"... I would say the symptoms are more borderline than the underlying cause actually is. They are both amazing compensators and are both extremely bright.
I think things get missed for some children who are superbright because they compensate so well.
My pediatrician recommends intervention when there is a diagnosable issue AND it is has to be somewhat problematic.
Example: DD8 cannot ride a bike or tie her shoes. We didn't get the scrip for eval until she became embarrassed about it. She has a mild swallowing issue which she has had therapy for when younger, but it is still a mild issue. Since there is no choking or aspiration issues he says, "just go ahead and let her drink from a straw the rest of her life. I have patients her age with feeding tubes so the straw is not the worst case". A little harsh, but somewhat sensical. I think they see a very high compensating kid and aren't as compelled to intervene with therapy. At least that's what I've seen, but maybe we have a bad pediatrician.