I have 2 gifted children. With my son, I fought very hard to have him start K early. He has been at a private school since K and is going into 6th now. He is a pefect fit, academically and socially.
My daughter, scored much higher on IQ tests. She was reading fluently at 2. I have her at the same private school and have fought for years to try to get her advanced to no avail. The school's reason is social. They have been worried that she has no close friends in her grade level but contradictate themselves by saying she is a better social fit where she is than if she were to move up. Honestly, I have made every effort to go to the school and observe. She is very different from the kids in her class. Basically, she has nothing in common with them. She is more concerned with saving the enviroment than with Barbies! To me, she seems so much more mature than her age peers.
This past year, while in 3rd grade, she was pulled out for 6th grade reading, spelling, vocabulary and science. Still, they will not let her skip 4th grade and move to 5th! Her standardized test results came back with 99% across the board. She has a lot of anxiety during the school year, only at school. She is fine at home and during the summer.
Once again, I requested a grade skip and was told no. Now my options are to send her back as a fourth grader or to homeschool.(I have exhausted all efforts to find another school here that would compare or fit her needs and public school is not an option)
What would you do? Does anyone else out there HS their gifted child? If so, what cirriculum? How do you determine their grade level? Has anyone had success with virtual schools?
I am trying to research as much as I can. My gut instinct is to HS, my husband wants to send her back and only pull her out to HS if the anxiety comes back. I really would appreciate any and all comments or thought on the matter.
Thanks in advance.
~Gatorgirl

Hi Gatorgirl and welcome.

I'm glad your son is being served well in school. That's promising that they will pull your daughter and subject accelerate 3 years, I wish they would do that at DD's school!
But my eldest DD is happy now but is also working comfortably 3 years ahead grade level in most subjects, just at home.

DD6 is very gifted but it doesn't seem to translate as well to academics. She isn't as interested as DD8. We have experienced emotional problems for her and I've definately seen a pattern between anxiety during the school months, none during the summer months.

We are going to send her to school with the expectation that if the anxiety resumes she will be homeschooled. DD8 wants to go to school, but if she ever says she would rather homeschool, we will make the adjustment immediately.

I have been preparing for homeschooling for the last year and finally feel like I am ready to do so it goes that way.

There are some awesome homeschooling parents here, you are sure to get some really great feedback.


Neato

Neato~
I guess I should clarify a little bit. Yes, the school pulled her out for 6th grade work BUT it was one-on-one in the directors office AND her regular (3rd grade teacher) STILL made her do the 3rd grade work as well, which contributed to her anxiety doing double the work. This makes my decision harder. If she can do the higher work, why still make her do the regular work??
Thanks for replying.
~Gatorgirl

That's insane!!!!

You'll get lots of wonderful advice from our many homeschoolers, but if you decide to send her back, fight that one like a Mama bear!!!!

Wow! That's not so great. I really don't understand why they would make her do the 3rd grade work if they realize she is that advanced as to warrant 6th grade work. Duh.
Unfortunately I've heard that before.
Have you asked them to excuse her from 3rd grade work? I'm not sure how they could not especially since they are providing the 6th grade curriculum so they must be convinced she is proficient in 3rd.
I think you have to have the director make this decision, sometimes the grade level teacher doesn't get it.
If they are just trying to cover their bases, ask them to administer a 4th grade achievement test like IBTS or CAT when she starts school.
Maybe they will excuse her if you offer to sign a waiver releasing them of all liability if your daughter becomes a juvenile delinquent because she didn't do enough 4th grade worksheets?
One idea is to try and contact the director now, about this. Most administrators are accessible in the summer and they sure are a whole lot less busy!
Thats all I can come up with right now. Hope it's helpful.

I have been meeting with the director all summer. I have another meeting next week which my husband will attend. They have basically told me:
1. They realize that her needs have not been met
2. They could move her to 8th grade and she could still do the work.
3. Under no circumstances will they allow her to grade skip due to social reasons

I am completely frustrated! Is there any other resources for me, besides the school, to get her tested at a higher grade level?
Thanks.

Once the school year starts up, you might want to think about talent search testing, with either something like the Explore (8th grade level) or the SAT or ACT (high school level). Perhaps for summer a testing you might try a local tutoring agency? Sometimes they can run (higher) grade level tests.

I agree that the double-work thing is NOT okay! Dottie and 'Neato are right: if you stay with the school, fight that hard!

We're homeschooling. I'll be happy to answer any questions you have if I can, either here on the public forum or in a private message. A number of us are in the HSing boat.

On the bright side, HSing a GT child is really pretty easy most of the time, since they're little learning machines. And since they learn things so much faster than most other kids, you don't have to spend a lot of time on school, so there's time for lots of interesting extras like forign language, music lessons and sports, while still giving kids time to play. If you find the supports you need (HS groups, childcare, forums, etc.), it can be a really good solution for a GT child.

And it is perfectly acceptable to HS one child while having the other in a traditional school situation. If your son is well-placed, then don't feel like you have to pull him out. I sure wouldn't!

If there's anything I can help with, let me know.

K-

Glad for you that your son has had his needs met.

Your DD's situation seems harder . . . . my issue with skipping would be that if she can do 8th grade work, then skipping 4th isn't going to help much. So rather than focus on obtaining a grade skip, I'd be worried about what she has to do (the double work is annoying!) and whether they can meet her needs academically. If the school was able to do pullout at 6th grade level for several subjects, can they do 7th and 8th grade level for the next year? Does she get *anything* from same age peers? I have a DS who finds all same age kids annoying and another DS who finds them fascinating and manages to connect even though it forces him to restrict the subjects he discusses and change his vocabulary. I suspect that no situation would work great socially for my socially-critical DS, because he doesn't like most kids that much and that's really a function of his personality rather than his IQ. In my house at least, social issues seem more related to personality than to IQ. Would your DD really find social peers and pals if she skipped one year?

I had one DS do a one-on-one pullout every day for a few months last year and while it allowed better meeting of his educational needs, he did feel odd to be just with a teacher every day. Does your DD like the subject pullouts or find herself just singled out? My DD would hate being singled out like that . . . but one DS would love the attention -- again, it seems like a personality question more than an academic one to me.

My concern about the academic work would extend to the social environment. Do you really think one year or two years grade skipping would fix the social misfit? I'd suspect that moving from Barbie to saving the environment would require a lot more than one or two years grade skipping. If you think that the school environment offers things you want (which could be whatever matters to you) -- then it may be worth working with them to find a least-worst solution to manage the social and the academic as best as you and they can do together. But if you don't think your DD gets much extra-academic input from the school, and her academic needs aren't being met either, then HS seems like a reasonable option if you have the situation to support it and the will to do it.

We've been searching for solutions to school environments for two kids who read at 2 and . . . . it's a hard road to travel! Maybe you'll get some good ideas from the crowd here, but there's also just a problem of mismatch of level and age, academic and social needs, abilities and maturity that I've found painful in the last few years. I'm told it gets better as they get older and I'm holding out for that! In the meantime, we're sticking with school and finding our least-worst solution as best we can -- along with second guessing ourselves pretty often.

"along with second guessing ourselves pretty often"

You are not alone.