Um, this sounds a liitle lame after all these horror stories... But KG stopped reading. That's how we really knew something was wrong.

Kid *loves* to read. He self-taught somewhere around 3yo, and would read all the time. He loved reading Captain Underpants when he was 4. I have a great pic of him the summer before K started, sitting in the car waiting to go somewhere, totally engrossed in "Henry Huggins."

We had briefly discussed seeking a skip to first grade the winter before he started k, but his dad was adament that KG needed K. So we sent him. Private school really didn't cross our minds.

I approached the gifted coordinator at parent night, introduced myself and said I was interested in learning about the gifted program. I was told it didn't start until second grade, and given a folder full of elementary gifted info (ie, characteristics of gifted kids, enrichment ideas, even a link to that Saturday enrichment program!). When I asked what they did for kids in K, she told me they do "in-class grouping." She was very dismissive, and a little rude.

So I let it go at that point, and decided to watch and wait. KG wasn't having big problems, and I thought (hoped) maybe they *could* differentiate.

But after a month or 2 in K... He stopped reading chapter books. And started reading Spot lift-the-flap books. That was my biggest clue-in! Not dramatic, but a big enough departure for me to look more into it. It was at that point we had him fully tested (he'd done a cursory eval to get into a well-known Saturday program for gifted kids near us).

Basically, nothing was done for him. He'd have been in the "gifted first grade math" this year--but he tested above it last February. Whoopty!

It was the school's attitude as much as KGs obvious regression that pushed us to start looking private. And it was less his K teacher than his principal --most of you have heard our story. It didn't look likely to change, and I wasn't willingly to fight a likely-losing battle while KG floundered.

KG starts at gifted private in two weeks, and I'm really excited.

Bottom line? Look for a change in your kid. If you think something's not right, you're probably right. And get started early!

Thanks to all for the many thoughtful responses. Sorry to be absent so long, but for some reason I thought this thread had petered out yesterday morning and didn't check it later in the day.

There is a wealth of information and ideas in the many postings - too many to respond to individually. On the subject of fear, 'Neato and Austin make good points. We have some evidence to work with, since we worked with these folks a bit in the winter, but it's not conclusive. We have been insufficiently attentive in the past, however, and want to do better now, without overcompensating. I think the point of fears is to own them - even in advocacy - without letting them own you.

DS got through day 2 okay, though bits of violence are seeping through his post-school fantasy play already. Much will depend on whether the school follows through on our request for a meeting next week.

So have I, probably so have many others, this will end up being a non-issue, don't worry.




Brilliant-now go do some successful advocating!!!

Yes, we've all been there. 'Neato's right (as usual!).

Use the past to inform you, but don't waste time and energy kicking yourself. If you do the best you can at the time, then that's all you can do. Regret is a wasted emotion. Forward!!!

oh, BTW:



LITTLE will depend....

If they don't (they probably will!) you make another polite call. And then go from there. While you do need cooperation on some level you have more influence in the outcomes here, than the school, okay?

Aww shucks......

Yes Ma'am! (We need a saluting gremlin for the board).

Yes - this is an important lesson that, after some struggle, I am beginning to get the hang of.

On this one I disagree. We've made the polite call already and, as I mentioned, we have some prior experience working with them. If we see a long process stretching ahead of us, just to discuss options, and DS is stressing, we will move to HS pretty quickly.

I'd like to understand better your point that we have more influence on the outcomes, at least within the school's system. We can propose, even persuade, but ultimately the principle makes the determination, que no?

BTDT. I spent a while kicking myself, too. It's part of the process. But get through that part as fast as you can because it's not productive. You can't be an effective advocate for your child if you're busy blaming yourself for past mistakes.

Forward! Always forward!