Remember this day, especially if he cries again next week!

YES! HURRAY!!!!

Help I am so frustrated tonight. My daughter is in first grade and was tested into second grade she has always loved to learn. We have never pushed anything on her she just takes it and goes with it. Well, recently I have noticed that if she gets a problem wrong when we sit her down to talk to her about it she will cry and whine. My husband and I just look at each other and can not understand why she gets the way she does. Today she got 5 problems wrong and cried in class and told the teacher that we were going to be mad at her. That was not the truth we are very proud of her and never get mad at her for getting something wrong.It seems like she is so hard on herself she wants to get everything right and we have tried over and over to explain to her that not everyone can always get everything right.
I just don't know what to do. I always thought that I wanted my child to be gifted. I was not. I just never would have thought all these other little things would happen.

Shana,

I a lot of us have seen behavior like that to various degrees. We see it now in our DS, but not to that extent. I think it comes from the perfectionism that is common with GT kids used to getting everything perfect. I wish I could offer you advice. Unfortunately, all I can say is that we've had similar experiences. Our DS doesn't act out that same way, but he does tend to shut down if he misses a problem. We're trying to find techniques for him to better cope, including stressing that it's okay to get stuck or get something wrong, that it's part of the learning process. We're also trying to give him more opportunities to do work that is above his level so that we know that he is learning new things. I don't know if that would be helpful in your case or not.

Sorry I couldn't be more helpful.

JB

Shana

Before we had our son when we talked about having a child, we discussed what the issues would be. We waited a long time because I was scared that I would have a child with dysgraphia like me. I remember how hard it was in school and really feared this. So we waited and then finally decided that it was worth the risk. When he came out super smart like my dad..... it sort of threw me for a loop. I had prepared myself of a different sort of kid. When he was little and first started showing signs of giftedness, I had no frame of reference other then my brothers and sisters- and they weren't talking....lol

When DS7 gets something wrong, usually we just brush it off, and he has learned to do that too. We have explained to him, nobody is perfect. Because of my dysgraphia, I have a wealth of experience with that....;)
This line is often said in our house,"OMG! I (you, we) got something wrong! Are we going to spiral toward the sun? Is it the end of time?"

It's funny how we all do this, plan and think things will be one way and then, there not. And we have to "raise to the occasion" (my mother would say this to me all the time.)

I am thinking that her emotional maturity to face frustration and hard slogging has not caught up with her cognitive abilities. The "takes it and goes with it" is telling. Somethings you cannot take - they take you!!

Seng has some articles on this.

http://www.sengifted.org/articles_counseling/index.shtml

I liked this one.

http://www.sengifted.org/articles_counse...olescents.shtml

Does she read a lot? Can you find a book where the heroine faces setbacks and then perseveres?

Does she like learning new words? Persevere, frustration, dissappointment, endurance, faith, focus, setback, commitment, gumption, grit, courage, surcease?

Trust?

So i am happy to report that he is happy and comfortable..... now I just have to get them to live up to the plan we all laid out. he he heh..... it never ends

Hi...I am new to this forum so am late chiming in on this topic. I am so glad to hear that your son has adjusted to his situation. I just wanted to share that my DD10 is in a similar situation. She is in 5th grade but tests at 8th grade level in math. The school did nothing for her last year and I raised a holy ruckusover that. For thisschool year the best option we could come up with was to accelerate her. She has been attending a 6th grade advanced math class at the middle school next door. She was very apprehensive and really didn't want to go....read dramatic tears, pouting, complaining, etc. She is definately at the age where she doesn't want to be different. She finally agreed to try it and for the first few weeks she tried to convince me...on a daily basis....that she didn't belong in the middle school class. Now, about six weeks into the school year, she is doing really well. She could probably handle even more challenge academically but not emotionally or maturity wise. As it turns out, her classmates think it is cool and she has been completely accepted by the older kids.