This may be a delicate topic, when so many of our 2E's are not recognized for either their giftedness or their disabilities, but DD10 came to me last night somewhat upset. I knew this day was coming! She was identified as 2E in mid 3rd grade, and received services for both GT and her LD. She was in a 2nd-4th building, and so many kids were pulled out, that the general population was somewhat "clueless". She had a wonderful LD teacher, and DD met with her at the very end of the day one-on-one for some very basic services.

She is now in 5th, in a 5th/6th building and we tried to duplicate that setup. Her LD teacher is not AS wonderful, but still very good. She again meets with her one-on-one at the end of the day. However, the 5th/6th kids are NOT as clueless. Apparently they've been asking her about meeting with Mrs. LD, and saying things like "I thought you were supposed to be smart".

I emailed Mrs. LD to talk about this, but DD's intial report was VERY clear that this was a sensitive issue. Here's the IEP quote...



I'm VERY apprehensive about losing services completely, but also don't want DD to be upset.

Any suggestions? I'm quite certain I can "duplicate" whatever the school is doing, but don't want to lose her umbrella protection.

Dottie,
Sorry she's upset....

I don't have any answer, but here are some questions....

What do you mean by unbrella protection?

How does DD10 ((husgs)) verbalize her disability?

What exactly does Mrs. LD do with her at the end of each day? Can you tell if she needs this?

If it's any consolation, I think that the kids are actually looking for information. It's terribly confusing to try to figure out our culture's construct of "smart" and look how confused we are about it (see other thread, re: tracking)

It's good that they want to understand "what is smart" but unfortunate that adults are mostly in no shape to step up to the plate and do the job. Perhaps the kids have already figured out that one can't talk about this with grown ups without them freaking out.

So, dear, it's time for another round of "the talk" with DD, and to ask her what she knows that she can teach her classmates. Is she a leader in general?

Humm, lots to consider...
Trinity

When DD was very first identified, at her very first IEP meeting, they were already talking about moving her eventually to a 504 plan. This is an act for kids with disabilities, that don't impact learning. She would have "protections" under that, but not to the level of the IEP. I'm worried that if I ask to end her actual remedial services, that we'll lose the IEP altogether and move to a 504. I've heard that this shouldn't be done before middle school, as many 2E's face their worst struggles in that time frame. (That's what I meant about "umbrella protection".)

I did email Mrs. LD about meeting with me. In the 2nd-4th building, LD support always came for conference time, and I was somewhat surprised that she wasn't there last month. Hopefully this meeting will give us clear direction.

While I've been very open with confused adults (and they abound!), about the whole 2E dichotomy, DD is at an age where she really just wants to "fit in". Asking her to be a "spokesperson" might be too much. We try to be very upfront with her too about this dichotomy.

Even if she never steps up and uses her "elevator speech" it's important that you help her develop one to recite in her head when she's mentally agreeing with the other kids, "Well, I am supposed to be smart, what's up with that?" It helps the body language, ya' see?

Cousin Trin

That time of life is such a tough age for a kid, especially if they are/feel different.

What does your DD want to do? Is she actually asking to end the services, or is she just upset about the kids' questions? The former is a bigger issue than the latter, I think, though neither necessarily means you ought to end the services...

I'm sorry she--and you!--have to go through this!

I totally agree about the whole "fitting in" issue. That is exactly why my 12 year old does not want to skip grades and my 10 year old desperately does.
However I wanted to mention something about perception of LD from kids that age. My DS, now 12 year old 7th grader was very close to a kid from special ed classes through 5th and 6th grade.
The kid seemed to be so bright and everything, that I even commented to DS about him being in special ed. for no reason, Then my DS explained to me.
My 10 year old, 5ht grade daughter, has a friend she really likes, who is in special ed. I do not want my DD to be close to that girl for other reasons, that have nothing to do with LD.
So my kids do not view those LD kids as being any different.

Kriston, that's a good question! I think it's a mix of both. She IS LD, but I don't think she really needs what the school is willing to provide. She is very concerned about being "normal", fitting in, etc, as well as living up to her own "smart" expectations.

Ania, with the tables turned, DD is the child most likely to reach out to someone "different". However, I guess it's different for her to feel different. She's such a compassionate child. Of my three, she is the most sensitive, the most caring, etc. However, I don't believe she perceives this from others at times.

I did meet with her LD teacher last night. Mrs. LD is very sweet, and a nice choice as a person to spend time with DD. However, I could tell after talking to her that she didn't really "get" 2E. She kept talking about how well DD was doing on the 5th grade spelling activities, and how she wasn't "below grade level".

We worked out an arrangement where she'll keep her IEP, but she'll send the spelling work book home, and DD will work on it there, without getting pulled out. Given the limitations of the services, this is probably ideal. The IEP is better for me as leverage with her regular ed teachers. It helps explain her quirks, before the teachers assume carelessness, etc (which is very common for kids like DD).

From a bigger picture standpoint, I do feel there are still untapped "issues" with DD, but I'm at a loss as to how to pursue those. They are well beyond the school's expertise.

Anyway, thanks for the feedback one and all!

I'm glad there's a workable solution, at least for now. I think you're smart to hang on to that IEP with both hands! A "workaround" certainly seems like your best option from the outside.

Keep us updated on how it goes, please!

Golly - that would drive me nutz. Truth is that 2E is just now starting to be recognised, and the awareness just if very limited. What about that nice private school nearby? Is DD2 really happy at school? Really Challenged?

Trin

What nice private school? ROFL! There IS one that lets kids in at 4, but they aren't really up to the GT challenge, let alone the 2E one.

Is DD2 really happy at school? You know... I really think she is. Or I don't expect she'd be happier elsewhere. She has some great friends, and kids generally like her. Challenged? Probably not completely, but she's the type of kid who enjoys really excelling, and she can do that with "grade level". Her GT teacher really gets her too, and even though it's 2 hours a week, it really really helps.

DS needs the acceleration more, because he's more content to earn high marks without straining himself, if you kwim! DD2 will strain.

We'll continue to be A Work In Progress!

Thanks for the thoughts!