Bianca, that is wonderful. All I ever wanted to do was get married and have kids and stay at home with them. I can remember people in high school getting so mad at me for not having loftier goals and putting my mind to "better use". When I was voted Most Likely to Succeed I had a friend that chewed me out that I didn't deserve that because I wasn't even going to attempt to succeed. But I felt if I got what made me happy then I had succeeded whether it made me rich or famous or not.

So I really enjoyed that story - thanks for sharing!

That was my goal as well in highschool. I was taking all AP classes and wanted to be a stay at home mom.

Looking back, I am so glad that my parents encouraged me to go to Nursing School right out of college and then at the age of 22 I started having kids. Right now I can't imagine being a stay at home mom. I love my job too much.

I must write very badly, everyone seems to take what I write the wrong way.

I never said she had to make money. I said I wanted her to have options.

Though the way she has reacted to new shoes at 14 months and since (I think she is channeling my mother regarding expansive wardrobe needs)she may need a lot of money.

Though where she goes to college may be pressured by DH (first thing he bought her was an infant cap from Harvard. She went to the Harvard/Yale game at 2 months.)

Just joking Kriston that she has to go to Harvard. As long as it isn't Yale.

I do not agree that what she wants to do is OK as long as she is happy. Did you know that in the 1950s people were asked what they wanted from their kids and they said they wanted them to be good members of society (something like that) and they brought their kids up to get educated and get jobs. Parents were asked in the 1970s what they wanted and they said they wanted their kids to be happy. Well the outcome of the former parenting style produced people that said they were happy, because they had jobs and bought homes and could feed their children. The second group produced a lot of misfits that do not have direction, say they are not happy and do not have jobs they think of as permanent.

We went through a stagnation cycle in the late 70s that permanently put our manufacturing sector on shrinkage and this stagnation cycle will see further weakening of the household income as gasoline goes to $5 per gallon, bananas have doubled in price since summer and wheat and sugar prices are going to the moon.

What will make DD happy? Being able to take care of herself as an adult. Just because a kid is PG does not mean they have a career lined up for them. And the message I got at 6 about decision making and career choice set a foundation for me, a mindset. Do not underestimate the life long lessons kids learn at 3, 4, 5, 6.

Ren

Lovely post, Kriston. I am exactly where you are at. My intense career years were great. I didn't have DS until 30. I spent my 20's working 60+ hours a week and travelling overseas. I wouldn't trade it for everything. But our lives now are so full and wonderful and I love being able to be home while our kids are small. It's not for everyone, but it has worked well for us and we have a much more relaxed lifestyle for it. When I think of going back to work I think of pouring my heart into a small non-profit or working in education. So far from where I started my career.

Definitely all kids should have their options wide open. And the children of the parents on this board are obviously particularly lucky in this regard. I do think if a person has great passion, they will succeed and be happy at whatever they choose to do - from electrician to corporate lawyer to parent. You can feed their passions, but not necessarily choose them.

Agreed, kimck. Where we start and where we finish are not just sometimes, but are usually very different, for the majority of people.

I went through the meat-grinder of grad school with plans to be a professor. I wasn't happy in that choice (and the job market in my field stank to high heaven, so there were practical concerns as well), so I left. I worked freelance in business writing, took a position in corporate training and wound up in volunteer training at a non-profit. It was all...meh. At 30, I got married to a man I love deeply and sanely, and we had our first child a couple of years later. I found my work passion--my novel series--shortly after the birth of child #2.

I know what else is out there in the world. I've traveled. I've worked. I know what matters to me and why. I feel strong and smart and appreciated. I am not wealthy, but we have more than enough to meet our needs. I feel challenged. My life is rich.

That's what I want for my kids, too, and I think our little group here is living proof that there are lots of different ways to get there.

I have to agree Kriston. All I wanted to do was be a wife and mother but of course that didn't mean I was going to sit around waiting for some man to come sweep me off my feet and take care of me. LOL! I wound up with 2 college degrees and a good job. I still work part time and I am glad that I can do that because then I get to spend the rest of the time with my kids.

I too want my kids to know what options are out there. I don't think I fully understood all that there was to do out in the world when I was 18. I think I would have like to have been an archaeologist but that didn't seem a viable option at the time though I'm not sure why. I want to make sure that my kids do know what options are out there and I want them to travel and really know what they could do with their lives. But my ultimate goal is for them to find something that makes them happy. And I do think that involves getting a college degree and having lots of options open to them so they can get good jobs.

And Ren it didn't offend me when you said "The second group produced a lot of misfits that do not have direction, say they are not happy and do not have jobs they think of as permanent" but I am a child of the 1970's and I don't consider myself a misfit without direction and I am happy and have been at the same job since graduating college 16 years ago. And the same for the people I know and graduated from school with. So I'm not sure what group you are talking about. ?? Or maybe I misread?

I think I understand all sides of this issue. I, too, want DS to be happy, and I like to think I'd be happy whatever he chooses to do as long as he's happy, but honestly, I don't think I'm big enough to accept whatever he chooses to do. Just hope I'm big enough to keep my big mouth shut whatever he chooses to do, as long as he's happy...

Thank you for all comments. And I am glad we all have our opinions because there is no right way or wrong way if we all want to provide our children with options.

I am reading a paper:

http://www.gifted.uconn.edu/nrcgt/reports/rbdm9308/rbdm9308.pdf

on raising very young gifted children. Kind of an "how to" since I really like a map...

Ren

Thanks for the link Ren!