Ugh, we're back. Ugh. Sunburn will fade *very* quickly, I assure you! :P

Hi Mia! Back already? I hope ds had a great time (and you,too - of course).

Jamie "B"

Much of this has to do more with personality (of your children, the school, your family) than just academic ability. DS was reading at about 4th grade level when he started K. But he would sit in circle time hand raised enthusiastically ready to identify the "letter of the day!" He was just so happy to be at school and happy to participate. That spark has really never faded.

By 3rd, he had negotiated for himself a year subject acceleration in math, which quickly became 2 years and now 3 years. I don't know how he does it, but he manages to get what he needs, enjoys being with his class (even the "thugs"), and is never bored. None of the things you worry about have ever happened.

The psych who tested him said he had never seen an HG+ kid this happy in public school, so perhaps our story is rare, but I don't think it's unique. I think a lot of our luck comes from the fact that DS is an extreme extrovert, socially gifted, and confident. He arrived that way--I don't take much credit.

My point is not to brag about my son (even though I like to get to do that), but to use him to demonstrate the huge role personality played in our decision to not skip him.

Your son sounds lovely, brag away!!!!!!

Incog

acs - Your experience is definitely encouraging! Your ds sounds like a remarkable child.

He reminds me of my older dd when she was in K. However, things began to sour for her in 1st.

I agree that much has to do with personality and also with getting the right teacher. The wrong teacher can squelch even the most enthusiastic of kids which is what we saw happening to our oldest until we intervened.

There seem to be no easy answers. It is good to know that there are those who have had positive outcomes on both sides of the situation.

Jamie

Yes, good teachers have played a huge role in our success. Except for first grade, when the teacher was "just" good (and overwhelmed with NCLB requirements), we have had wonderful teachers all the way through and the principal has always been supportive of whatever the teachers felt they needed to do to keep DS engaged (including excempting him from "required" reading curriculum!). Sometimes I go through a chicken and egg argument with myself: is DS so happy because he has had supportive teachers? or are DS's teachers so supportive because he is so easy to like?. By this time, it's clearly both things working together. But which came first?

I have brothers who were more introverted and sullen. They did not "click" with their teachers (even some of the good ones that I got along with well), probably because of their temperment. School was harder for them. Although you can teach them some useful social skills, I don't think you can fundamentally change their temperment.

I think first grade is a particularly tough year for these HG+ kids. I hear it often from the personal experience of people on this and similar forums, saw it with my own DS, and have read that it is so in various books and websites. First grade is a sea-change, I think, and it tends to show the problems with trying to fit our kids into an educational system that isn't made for them.

The teachers make all the difference! If I had DS6's first grade year to do over again, I'd have moved heaven and earth to get him into a classroom with a good teacher for first grade. As it was, I didn't know the one we got wasn't good. I didn't ask the right questions of other parents and of administrators. (Heck, I didn't even ask what his test scores were! Duh!) I went with the flow. If I knew then what I know now...

I'd make waves! Big, gigantic crashing waves!!!

We always hand-picked every teacher DS has had. Luckily, there was always at least one good option. Not every one is going to be that lucky!

How was it that you were able to handpick the teachers, acs? Were the school adminstrators supportive or resistant? What obstacles did you have to overcome the first time you wanted to pick your child's teacher?

I'd love to know your secrets in case I need to pick a teacher in the future!

Thanks!

Our district accepts teacher requests. There is a form in the office to fill out and it just needs to be turned in by a certain date. So it is no big deal. Most parents don't request (maybe 5 out of the 100 kids request) so those of us who do request get who we want. I am sure that in many more affluent districts most parents would request and it might be very hard to meet everyone's desires, but that is not our demographic.

I would often observe teachers and then ask DS's current teacher who she recommends as a good fit for DS.

I'm not sure if this helps. I guess we've been lucky to have an accomodating district.